Put Your Best Foot Forward: Make a Great Impression by Taking Control of How Others See You
From Amazon.com
First impressions are always hard to shake. So why not help influence how others view you in the first place, so affecting the way they reflect of you in the long run? Place Your Best Foot Forward, by Jo-Ellan Dimitrius (who specializes in the meaning of appearance and behavior) and Mark Mazzarella (a trial lawyer), fully lays out a step-by-step curriculum they call Impression Management, calculated to do just that. Based on extensive individual interviews, literature reviews, and assessment analyses, it starts by examining exactly how and why people make these initial assessments. It then explores the specific “qualities others find most vital, and how each of the ways you paint a depiction of your personality and values–appearance, body language, accent, communication style, the content of your speech, your actions, and environment–can be honed to project the best possible impression of who you are and how you are likely to reflect and act.” Wisely, the authors never suggest compromising your integrity or surrendering your eccentricity. They instead recommend crucial but simple behavior such as choosing dark clothing to command authority, increasing “soft but sustained” eye contact, and avoiding “highbrow vocabulary and snobbish words.” –Howard Rothman
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Despite the negative connotations of my title, the fantastic insight I found in this book is that people will try to conform you into stereotypes they have. They usually rely on pretty shallow criteria to mediate you. If you happen to fit into a negative stereotype, then you will be waging an uphill struggle to change other’s opinions of you. People look for confirmation not disconfirmation. So if you say, do or wear something that isn’t exactly the right thing, then it will probably confirm the negative stereotype others have of you. Conversly, if you have a positive stereotype, then those deviations from the stereotype are often dismissed or excused. I’ve learned this owing to hard trial and error. I once held that the best thing is to be yourself and, if others don’t except you for who you are then the hell with them. This is fine for one’s personal life but disasterous for a competitive work environment. Even though you may be hard-effective and conscientious about work manufactured goods, in a competitive environment people will use perceived negative differences against you. It sucks but people in competitve work environments are often jerks. If you want to succeed in a competitive environment, then you will just have to accept that people are often shallow and jerks. Consequently, cultivating the genteel image will certainly be an advantage to you and this book is a excellent start.
Rating: 4 / 5
I bought this because I’ve seen the author on Larry King and elsewhere talking about how she reads the makings jurors by their body language. She’s made a lot of money doing this, and recommending jurors to lawyers. It was all very fascinating until I bought this slapped together book. Really all it says is that sloppy posture and messy clothing will not make a excellent impression in the affair world or the dating world. Really, that’s all it says!! I was also offended, as an artsy person, that the author over and over again stated that people who wear clothes/jewelry/hairstyles out of the normal navy blue, plain semi-formal affair mainstay will be seen as weirdos by their contemporaries and not promoted, etc. She seems to reflect eccentricity is a very terrible thing! She really encourages readers to dress as boringly as possible so as not to offend anyone!
Rating: 1 / 5
While I can not reflect of another book of this type to recommend over this one, there is not really any information in this book that is not simple common sense. Among the ‘gems’ revealed are the importance of excellent posture, excellent grooming and how vital it is to refrain from using profanities in public. This book is highly recommended, then, for those who reflect slouching, terrible odour and cursing all make for a excellent impression on others.
Rating: 2 / 5
While I can not reflect of another book of this type to recommend over this one, there is not really any information in this book that is not simple common sense. Among the ‘gems’ revealed are the importance of excellent posture, excellent grooming and how vital it is to refrain from using profanities in public. This book is highly recommended, then, for those who reflect slouching, terrible odour and cursing all make for a excellent impression on others.
Rating: 2 / 5
Reading this book is like taking your personality in to the doctor for a physical. You may feel uncomfortably poked, prodded and palpated, but you will perhaps be the better for it. More precisely, you will be able to get along better with others after reading this book. Some of the pointers for making a excellent impression are very specific to high-powered affair encounters. It’s also vital to keep in mind that the authors are basing the advice in the book on their experience prepping people to make a excellent impression on trial juries — a scenario that may or may not apply to your particular set of relationships. Regardless, the level of detail given on personal interactions such as handshakes is fascinating.
Some of the tips provide fantastic insights into creature psychology, especially regarding the emotional impact of things like body language, speech pacing, and accent quality. But some of the tips seem manipulative, like car-salesman talk, and others are just plain common sense — like excellent grooming and making eye contact. The emphasis on all aspects of personal appearance is depressingly shallow. I felt as if I were getting a address on the importance of wearing makeup, uncomfortable clothes and painful shoes. One annoying contradiction is this: despite the advice to be yourself, lest you come across as artificial, the book still advises you to change any so-called “toxic traits,” or else. The strategies given to minimize or mitigate your less savory attributes (rather than a hopeless attempt to _eliminate_ them) is far more encouraging. All in all, a rather effective reminder that people will not remember what you say, they’ll even not remember what you do, but they’ll never not remember how you made them feel.
Rating: 3 / 5